Let the spirit guide.

Little high, little low. Little hey, little ho. (I really enjoyed starting off like Stuart Little last week, so I may make this a regular, at least for a bit!)

This week was absolutely marvelous, for so many reasons that I really cannot even begin to articulate why.It is impossible to describe and explain all that has effected me and helped me to have this spiritual breakthrough, but there were a few specific experiences that really changed me this week that I have pinpointed. I'll share those! I feel like I have been in the refiner's fire for a time and am now finally seeing some growth and change within myself. Thank gosh, it has all been worth it!

On Friday this week we had our monthly Mission Leadership Council with about 40 of the missionaries and President and Sister Morby. This was only my second time attending, but I really look forward to these meetings. The spirit is unbelievable there and I just feel so close to my Heavenly home while there. This one was extra special because it was the last one that President and Sister Morby would preside at. When endings begin to be insight, it always seems that you really get to see, feel and appreciate a person's passion for their work. That was so true at this meeting; true of the Morby's, but also true of every single missionary there. The end of the Morby's time has brought a lot of thought and emotions and we really were able to recommit, I absolutely loved it! The words that were spoken throughout that day were an answer to so many of my silent prayers and pleas to my Father in Heaven. I am always hesitant to tell you, but I was really having a rough couple of weeks (I am so good now though, so you cannot worry!). That is kind of weird for me. I have always been very on top of things, in control, calm and generally, able to handle everything that I encounter with a good amount of ease. As my dear family knows, I enjoy being in control. That explains why I have always had such an intense fear of falling. Haha, yes, I remember those days at Darien Lake when I was wrapped around the railing of any ride that involved a falling motion, where my stomach would fly up. Yes, you all remember me hating those and making an absolute scene. Well, I have realized that I have that same problem spiritually. I hate feeling out of control and I dislike feeling that I have to rely on someone else to keep me safe. I think throughout my mission so far, I have been peeled off "my railing" and am now experiencing the roller-coaster fall feeling. But, this is SO good for me. For the first time in my life, I am really having to rely on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I was thinking about Peter from the New Testament a lot this week and the faith he had to walk on water to Christ. What powerful faith! I began to doubt my own faith and felt like I lacked so much strength. I thought of Peter and that first unnerving step he took off the ship towards Christ. Logically, his ship was a lot safer of a place than the ocean. What motivated him to leave that? I thought of the comforts of my life before and how safe and comfortable and familiar it was. It was a place where I could be in total control, but I wasn't growing the way I needed to, I wasn't coming to Christ as much as I could, now that I have left that God helped me to understand that I took that step similar to Peter's, when coming on my mission - I have faith! Fear is what made Peter falter and it is the same for me. I am so eternally grateful for my mission and for the opportunity it has given me to experience the fall. Now I understand Christ's role in my life, he can bring me more stability and peace than I ever brought myself. I need Him!

sidenote: things significantly improved in my life once I learned this lesson. Hah, I know I alluded to something similar last week, but I still did not get it. I get it now! 

...how my life improved.

I had the spirit with me so much more. I have never felt so guided in my life as much as I did after the meeting Friday and  on Saturday. We went out to meet and contact people Friday night and we "ran into" the most amazing people. God totally sent us there. Saturday was amazing! We went by to go see Florita since we had told her we would still help her with service even though she is not interested in learning anymore. I really do not have the words (or the time) to try and describe what happened there, but I know it was the handiwork of God. I had read a random, super old talk that morning in my study time and it was the perfect answer to her questions and problems. Finding that specific talk was so guided, haha, it is so amazing to know who is in control. Thank goodness it isn't me anymore! Anyways, I just want you to know that you, my family, prepared me for that lesson too, in such an incredible and personal way. Florita's struggles are things that we have dealt with and have brought us closer. She and I cried throughout the whole lesson, because it was a topic that was so close to my heart. It was such a special experience. 

Second experience on Saturday that really changed me! We parked our car at the church and were walking down the street to a member's friends home where they were having a graduation party. We didn't have anywhere to go for dinner, so they told to stop by and grab some food. It was after 7, so we were pretty hungry and ready to eat when we parked. We were walking along, got to the driveway, but both continued to walk, like it was the most logical thing we had done all day. It was so bizarre. So, we just walked past and decided we would eat later or not eat...in retrospect it made no sense, since that was the purpose of us being there. We then start talking about tracting and how it seems perfectly logical to do that right now, especially since we had nothing with us. Every thought that kept coming into our head felt so natural and just like, of course we would do that. Haha! Of course we would walk right past our dinner appointment, of course we would walk towards no end goal, of course we would then run across the street and climb through a ditch of rocks to go into this development. Of course. Long story short, we met Mark. He is from Germany and is absolutely amazing. He had just been talking to his LDS friend about Mormon Missionaries the day before, which was random, because he had never met any  before. So, when he answered the door, he looked at us funny, almost like, "Is this a joke, since I was just talking about you yesterday?" We had the most amazing and open conversation that I have ever had on my mission. He asked us what we believe faith is.We asked him what he believes the purpose of life to be. He very humbly responded that he did not know. He knows we have this desire to improve and do to good, he feels that is the purpose. We asked him what motivates us to do that, why do we have those desires within us. He was unsure and was totally open that he was unsure. He is one of the most humble people I have ever met becasue he was willing to admit he did not know, but (this is key!) he expressed a desire to know. We explained and shared scriptures from the Book of Mormon with him on his doorstep and offered him one (which we didn't even have a spare with us). He said yes and really wants to read it. We promised him that he could discover the purpose of life by reading that book and by praying to God. It was absolutely amazing. So, we dashed the long walk back to the car, grabbed a Book of Mormon and dashed back to his house to deliver it to him. He is so sincere and genuine and a sincere and genuine seeker of truth and so humble! I know, without a doubt, he will receive answers. 

Story that branches off that one, which is super cool because it shows we were destined to meet Mark (at least I see it that way)! >>> On Wednesday, Sister Benson and I felt so strongly that we need to somehow involve the members more and help change the ward in that way. We prayed and asked God what members we should specifically begin to work with. Several people came to my mind and I wrote them all down, most of them were leaders in the ward that I felt would make a good example to everyone. Brother Daines came to my mind, and it just seemed really random, so I wrote him down at the very end. We were at our dinner appointment on Sunday with the Daines. They were asking us about people we are teaching. We told them the amazing story of Mark, with all the details and bore our testimonies of how amazing and spiritual it was. Come to find out, Brother Daines served his mission in Germany and he works at the same place as Mark over in Portland. Coincidence? Definitely not. The Holy Ghost is guiding, I am finally letting him and look how incredible the results are! 

{Just a couple of bunnies}

Sorry it took so long for me to send an Easter picture!

I love being a missionary. Know that I have spent all of my time writing stories, I have no time left. I hope you can feel of my testimony in the stories I shared, I hope they make sense! I know that God lives, loves us and will do anything for us. I know that Christ has redeemed us and now, I really know we can have a personal relationship with Him. I know the Holy Ghost is given to us as a gift to guide and direct our lives and lead us, literally, to wherever will bring us the most joy. I really have a testimony of that too now! 

My loves, carry on! You all motivate and encourage me in ways you do not know! 

xoxo, Sister Kerr

Faith building experiences are hard.

Little high, little low. Little hey, little ho. 

I found a beautiful scripture that I love! I'll start with that. It is in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 9:25. At this point, Mormon is talking to his son, Moroni and telling him of all the wickedness and evil in the world that will eventually lead to the destruction of his people. He says, "My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever." The stumbling blocks of the world can either build our faith and we can be lifted through Christ, or we can fear and fall. I know that our Savior is here to lift us and this week I have really been figuring out how He can lift me personally. I feel that I have been teaching and testifying to people of how He can save them from falling, but had yet to figure out how that can apply to me in a more personal way. I wish that I could just drop all of my thoughts and feelings from this week into each of your heads so you could understand the growth and understanding I have developed. I have learned SO much and I am truly beginning to understand the power that faith has. Faith in Christ is a power, not just something that is nice to have and a comfort, but truly a power that can change things. I was struggling to see how I have faith and feeling that mine is not very strong. I had an amazing study though, that I would recommend to all of you! It helped me to see my faith in a more measurable and tangible way. I searched and read several scriptures that talked about faith and then searched out the specific action that was being talked about in that scripture. Then I asked myself, "Ok, have I done that action before?" If yes, then yay! I do have faith. If no, then yay! I now had a specific action I could take that would cause me to exercise faith. Try it! Faith is hard. So hard. But, like I said, it is a power and it is worth it.

This week started off with a super great experience. Monday evening, our plans all fell through so we had decided that if that happened, we would go and find someone new to teach! We were walking through this parking lot at an apartment complex, there were lots of people getting home from their Memorial Day adventures. We tried several times to strike up a conversation with these people, to no success. Haha, nobody wanted to talk to us. Some would start talking, then soon after see our name tags and nearly run away or throw out funny excuses of why they needed to take off. It was quite funny, but really irritating too. Come on, we are fairly normal! So, we keep walking around and decide we want to really follow what God wanted us to be doing. Sister Benson told me to pick a door that I felt inclined to go and knock on, since street contacting was not working. We walk for a bit more, then I say, "Ok. 607, that's the one!" So we climb the flight of stairs and knock, and wait. This young girl, about 18, comes out and is so interested! Oh my gosh, it was so cool. We stood and talked with her about the Book of Mormon and showed her the video, "Because of Him" for about 15 minutes. She could not wait to start reading the Book of Mormon and to meet with us again. Moments like that just make everything worth it. We were able to talk to someone who was wanting, searching and yearning to know. I love letting the spirit guide!

Well. We had a heart breaker the next day. Like, reall heart breaker. We went to see Florita again, we were going to help her go through her belongings so she can get rid of her storage unit. We climbed the stairs to her apartment and see on the front porch her large print Book of Mormon we had brought by and a book from Relief Society. Well, she was either studying outside this morning, or she is about to kick us to the curb. It was the latter. I still feel like I am about to cry as I think about it. Florita opened her door, started to explain to us how she needs to stop meeting with us through her teary eyes. She explained how hard it is for her to turn people away, but she can't do it anymore because she was raised differently and doesn't feel comfortable. We are pretty sure her kids talked to her and convinced her that we were a bad influence. She felt so guilty and was torn between them or us, so it is understandable. Our hearts ached as she handed us the books back and we told, yet another wonderful woman, how much we love her and that we still want to keep in touch and help her in anyway she needs. We drove away and the tears just poured down out. Not again! I was so sad and wondering how many more times my heart can handle this, how many more people can I love and then let them turn away? I again felt a little of how the Savior must feel when so many turned away from Him and still turn away from Him. Each time it happens, it is after they have a wonderful experience with the spirit, then they become afraid of change and turn and run, as if it had never happened. My spirit is lifted in joy when they experience the power of the Holy Ghost and love it, but then totally and utterly crushed when they turn away from it. It's ok though. It put me in a position where I could really figure out why I am here and let myself be humbled enough to trust God more than myself. Missionary work is most definitely not easy or convenient. It is hard and draining and it sometimes runs you until you feel broken and like there is absolutely nothing left within your heart to give. I felt like I was experiencing a trust fall with God this whole week. Experiences were pulling my feet out from under me and I was falling, I tried using all of my own resources. Tried and tried and tried, until I really felt beat. And I was falling, hard! Without falling, I never could have been caught by God though. When we feel like we have nothing left to give, we finally are humble enough to tell God, "Alright, that was it, I have nothing left in me. No more love to give, no more ideas of things to do. No more words to speak. Nothing, I have given my all and am finally recognizing that I do need your help." I definitely got to that point this week and I felt so weak! I am so grateful for that though. I needed to be humbled, I needed to recognize that I cannot do this on my own. I finally let myself fall into God's arms. My faith and my heart is becoming stronger because of these experiences, these difficult experiences. 

I love you all so very much. I have to get going! I am doing great and am seriously so beyond thankful for this time I have been given to learn so much. I feel so blessed. Thank you for my letters, emails and packages this week! They brought me so much joy and I felt so close to each of you who reached out to me. You really are inspired in your words, they always speak something sweet and needed to my spirit. I love you forever and always!

{Wonderful Sister Benson and I}

xoxox, Sister Kerr 

[be of good cheer]

Hello, sweet family!
It has been another good, enjoyable, learning week for your sister missionary out here in Oregon. I am absolutely flabbergasted that this is the last week of May. Uhm, can we please slow time down, maybe pause for a week of so? I just need a quick breather to be able to actually understand that next week is June and the kids are getting out of school. That is super bizarre. I was here for their summer vacations last year, when they started the school year and now I'm watching them finish up school. It is so weird! And it was over a year ago that I was in college, that's slightly bizarre too. I'm coming home extra smart though, no worries!

President and Sister Morby came to our ward again and spoke in Sacrament Meeting yesterday. The spirit was so strong and I greatly appreciated the words they spoke. They have helped me to see growth in myself and changes that I wasn't fully aware had taken place. My parents are the most loving people I know and are so wonderful at making sure that I know that I am loved, needed, enjoyed, and important. They also are perfect at helping me to see the growth I have experienced and the ways I have changed. The Morby's have most definitely helped fill in on that position since being here in the mission. I am so grateful for the joy they have brought to my life and for the help they have provided me with; the things I have learned on my mission have really changed my outlook on my life. I am so grateful for President's worthiness and his willingness to be obedient to the promptings he receives. I know my mission has been a success this far because I have changed and grown, I also know that the places I have served and those I have served with are a huge factor in that growth. I am thankful that he has been in tune with the spirit enough to put me where I would be stretched and transformed into who I am now. And I am grateful God put me in he Oregon Portland Mission where I could grow from my relationship with President and Sister Morby. I really am grateful that I have another 8 months to keep changing though! It is funny that we think we know what we need to be the happiest, but in all reality, we have no idea. I am so grateful that God has not given me everything that I thought I needed throughout my life, because in retrospect, I sure would be unhappy with all of that! He truly is in control.

The work has been going good. We had some really great things roll out this week, but we did have a couple of really hard days. I started to get a bit overwhelmed with all that is going on in the world. It dawned on me one day how much wickedness there is all around us. Every single way we turn, it appears that Satan is in control. I know this isn't true, but I could not shake the feeling of despair that was all around. I began to be fearful and anxious about the future, which I KNOW is the opposite of faith. I know without a doubt that I had no reason to feel that way because the gospel of Jesus Christ offers us hope to be free from the chains of the world. I knew it didn't make sense, but I could not help that I did feel that way. The world is a terrifying place filled with so much evil and as I thought about all of that, the scripture in John thankfully came to my mind. "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) That is exactly how it felt too. All the world had to offer me was tribulation, fear, and doubt; they had no condolences to offer, nothing to heal that pain and fear. I am so grateful that Christ has overcome the world though because I could not handle feeling that way any longer. Much of the world does not know this. That is what we are here to offer them, the healing that can come through Christ. I cannot imagine feeling the way I did for those couple of days, all the time. Life would be absolutely awful. I know that those hard days were a blessing though, because I now better understand how the world does feel and how desperately they do need this message.

We went on an exchange this past week. I went with a sister into their area. It went really well and was a successful day. This area has been especially hard for her,  it was her first time being transferred so this is her first new area. It was really perfect because a lot of her feelings were feelings I had been experiencing within myself just the transfer before when first getting into Oak Hills. It has been a hard transition for her, but she is doing so well, I just want her to see and understand how great of a missionary she is. She told me about midway through the exchange that she felt more like herself than she had in a long time. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father allowed me the opportunity to help this sweet sister that I love. I know that somehow this is the type of work I want to go into. I love helping people feel adequate and important, because we all are! We are children of God and he sees divine potential within each one of us. She couldn't pinpoint where the change had come from, but I asked her to keep thinking about it and apply whatever it was that she had changed in herself that day that had made her feel better. I am so thankful I get to serve in this way now.

Something small that I loved from this week came from a woman we are teaching, Florita. She struggles with depression and has some really hard days. We stopped by to see her and bring her a large print Book of Mormon at the end of this week. When we sat down and started visiting she told she had almost called us the day before. She told us she had one of her worst days and was feeling pretty low and hopeless. We scolded her for not calling when she had thought of it and told her she better call next time. She then said, "Sisters, just knowing I could call you was such a strength to me. That helped me in itself." I really feel like an angel sometimes to these strangers that we fall in love with out here. I just can't comprehend the love that I feel for these people we have recently met. God's love and His work really is amazing! 

{Here is a cute random pic from downtown the other day! It is so

beautiful. I love the bridges here :)}

Well I love you tons. Muah, muah, muah! 

Xoxo, love ya to the moon and back.

Sister Kerr <3

#we will all keep pressing forward

Dearest Family,
Today I just want to start off by expressing to you each how much I
love and adore you. I sure do miss you all a whole lot, but am so
eternally grateful for the family I do have. I am so thankful that I
know how it feels to belong, to be loved, to be missed, to be enjoyed
- I just LOVE this family of mine. I started today by reading an email
from my mom saying, "Ok, I just made sure that Dad told you first, so
it's ok for me to talk about it..." What is she talking about? Keep
reading/skimming, see the word "Patriarch"...Hmm, maybe I should read
Dad's first. Haha! I am so excited for my dear father who has been
called as the Syracuse Stake Patriarch, what a blessing that is. I was
a little surprised to hear it (mainly because my Dad is still so young
to me!) but, knew immediately that it is a perfect call for him. He
will get to serve others in such a unique and pivotal way. He has
ALWAYS been so close to the Spirit and will get to have that in his
life even more. I am so thrilled for the growth that is happening
within my family, our purpose here on earth is to progress
spiritually, no better way to do that than to serve in whatever
capacity our Father in Heaven asks us to.

It was a great week here in Portland! We had one of our most
successful weeks as for lessons, we were able to teach a lot, which
was a major blessing! God definitely has been preparing people for us
here in the Oak Hills ward, it is just the matter of finding them. In
the process of "finding them," we have met some really incredible
people from all over the world. I LOVE that part, the meeting and
hearing people's stories. It is my favorite! We met an awesome man,
Shadad with a crazy last name that starts out Gi-, so we call him
Gigi. He is from Iran/Persia and has the sweetest family ever. They
invited us back for a Persian family night and to discuss the Book of
Mormon, he has read it! Another is a woman, Janice, married to a man
from Japan. We were tracting and they invited us in right off the bat.
We discussed the Book of Mormon with them and they taught us about
their beliefs. They are members of the Unification church which
originated in Korea. They believe in modern-day revelation and have
some very interesting philosophies. It was SO relaxed though, the
Spirit was most definitely there with us because there was no tension
as we both shared our beliefs with one another. I know that is how God
intends for His children to treat each other when they disagree on
things, it was such a great experience! Anyways, we left her a chapter
in th Book of Mormon to read (2 Nephi 2), she was very intrigued by
the Plan of Salvation, especially about pre-mortal life and the role
of Adam and Eve. She said she would read it and invited us to come
back and talk about it with her next week! Another couple we met, one
was from the foreign land of NEW YORK. Yep, he went to University of
Rochester! His wife was from China. He is atheist and his wife is
Buddhist, but they have had great relationships with members
throughout the years, especially pertaining to their high school
children (yet again, your example totally makes an impact!). They
remembered great things and were willing to chat because of it. We
offered the woman a Book of Mormon in Mandarin since she cannot read
English very well and she said yes! Another man was from Iran as well,
his name was Mohsen. He started off really kind of rude and snappy
towards us about religion, but we ended up laughing together and
enjoying a great conversation about Jesus Christ. He ended up really
loving us and offering the sweet sister I had with me on exchanges and
myself a beer, haha, no worries we declined! This is the type of work
we have been about. LOTS of meeting and planting good, solid seeds.
Everyone we meet is so great, just not interested in moving or
changing anything quickly. Which is OK! Slow growth creates deep
roots, God is still a part of these people's lives, I have no doubt.
He is giving them experiences that will continue to prepare them to
accept His gospel at some point in their lives.

Today is the start of another transfer. We found out on Saturday that
Sister Benson and I will be staying together until she goes home! I'll
be with her until the day she dies, in mission language, which I am so
happy about. I love her so much and am so excited/thankful that we get
another 5 weeks together to work our hearts out here in Oak Hills.
Everyone that we see in the ward always ends the visit by saying, "I
just love you two together. We love that we can see you don't just get
along fine, but that you are friends doing an amazing work together."
It really is that way! We love each other so much and have so much fun
together as we serve our God.

I love you. I love all 10 months that I have been in Oregon. I love
Oak Hills. I love the people we have met. I love the missionaries of
the Oregon Portland Mission. I love our Cedar Mill Stake leaders. I
love the Bible and the Book of Mormon (my studies have been the BEST).
I love our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I love receiving personal
revelation and answers to my questions. I love the gift of the Holy
Ghost, my constant companion, comforter, guide and friend. I love my
Savior, Jesus Christ and all that is possible Because of Him. I love
my Father in Heaven. And most of all, I love the relationship that I
can have with both Him and my Savior.

Have a happy week, everyone. Know that you are in my every prayer and
that I think of you often, the type of thinking about you that gets me
to work! You motivate and inspire me. I love you and feel your
blessings each and everyday.

xoxox, Sister Kerr

random facts.
1/ The family that opened the Syracuse Stake for the first time ever
back a long time ago is living in my ward, The Weight's. They are one
of my favorites. My eyes filled up with tears several times as we
spoke with them and I saw how they have consecrated their lives to the
Lord and did His work in my home stake. I was happy to share with them
the growth and changes that have happened because of what they
started. President Weight, who was the Stake President there, is now
suffering from severe dementia. They have lived a beautiful life and I
am so grateful for them!
2/ I ate sushi. Real sushi. At a restaurant. Yes, you guessed it, I
did gag. I have an overactive gag reflex.
3/ I still know how to write/edit a college essay. Hallelujah! With
Sister B as my companion I get the interesting dynamic of someone who
will be home in 5 weeks. She applied for BYU months ago and was
accepted. So this week, she had to write an essay to apply for a
program she wants to be involved in. It was a beautiful little baby we
worked up! We both walked away in absolute shock that we know how to
format a paper still.
4/ Trish texted us yesterday! First time she has talked to us since
the big, sad day. My heart was so full of joy to see that she had
thought of us! All she said was, "Hey ladies. Just was thinking about
you and wanted to say Hi!" Sister Benson and I just beamed, she was
thinking about us!
5/ Got an email from Elder Kelly! Haha, glad you got to meet him, he's
a sweetheart isn't he!

Shout out to my Mother.

Hey, fam-bam-bino!

Today I woke up absolutely invigorated to serve with even more of my
heart and I have my family to thank for that. Getting to see your
faces and hear all of your voices yesterday was the most amazing gift
I ever could ask for. I felt so happy as I shared some of my favorite
recent happenings, but even happier as each member of my family shared
their experiences of sharing the gospel with those around them. You
all are so brave and so incredible!

I just want to be sure that I did not take the spotlight from the real
deserving woman yesterday. So this one is for my mama! YOU ARE THE
BEST MOTHER IN ALL OF THE WORLD. Yes, you are! I am going to paste in
a piece of the email that I sent to her earlier this morning because I
want the whole wide world to hear about this amazing woman, Miss Julie
Anne.

"My favorite part of talking with the family yesterday was that our
entire conversation (excepting the Nacho and Bob moments) was focused
on missionary work and not just the full-time missionary's work, but
YOUR work. You are the most amazing mother I know, and I really mean
that, I know and have met a lot of mothers. I hope you recognize that
and I hope you felt the spirit was strongly as I did as we were all
talking together. Look at the family you raised alongside Dad. Your
daughter is raising her own beautiful family and rearing her children
in the gospel. Your other daughters were sharing tracting stories,
sharing experiences of meeting random people and bringing the love of
the Savior to their doorstep. Your son is teaching so many people and
allowing them to feel that love too, he is reaching out to his own
family members and preparing them to enter the Holy Temple and make
sacred covenants. We each gained our testimonies and became aware of
those sacred covenants because of a righteous mother who loves God. We
wouldn't know who He was if our mother had not loved Him with all her
heart and taught us the importance of coming to know Him ourselves.
Being a parent is scary because the outcome of your children lies on
your shoulders, it's a pretty big gamble. But, I don't believe it's a
gamble at all, it's more of an investment. You invested your most
valuable and precious truths in us, your 5 children (and so very many
other people you have met) and prayed for us, that we would accept it.
Your faith paid off, Mom. Just look at your beautiful family. I love
you so much, always will!"

I would also like to recommend two videos to you all! The first is
called, "To Every Mother," the second is, "It Was Mom: A Mother's Day
Tribute to Moms." Watch them and reflect on all that you hold dear,
all that is important to you, really all that you have in this life
and it all in some way leads back to Mom. Thank you for making me who
I am!

Our week was really good. We started teaching a new woman named
Florita. She is incredibly sweet and so very interested. Her best
friend's name is Tito, they are just adorable and are the cutest
couple of buddies. They are probably about 70 and are just a hoot to
be around. Florita's mother passed away a few years ago and she has
had a really hard time with that, especially feeling very depressed.
The elders from Hillsboro were tracting and met her, she expressed the
pain she has felt since her mother passed to them. They asked her if
she believes in God and if she ever had prayed for comfort or
strength. She said that she actually had prayed for comfort earlier
that day before they came. They then promised her that the message
that we would come and share with her would be the peace and comfort
that God was trying to give her in response to her prayer. It was a
great first meeting with her, she loved it and is excited to come to
church and for us to come see her again!

Second, Kyle got baptized! If you remember him, the sisters started
teaching him right before we got into the area. We taught him about
three times over the time of my first 2 weeks here in Oak Hills, then
we passed him over to the Young Single Adults ward in Beaverton. Well,
during our last lesson with him we set a baptism date with him for May
10 and he stuck with it! It was such an incredible baptism service,
the spirit really was so strong. After the baptism, he came up to
Sister Benson and I and said, "So, I can go on a mission in a year
now." AH! We are so excited for him. I am so grateful that I got to be
involved, even in this small way. It strengthened me more than I
strengthened Kyle, but I will always remember that day and the way I
felt there.

Third, we got to go to the temple again this week. My third session in
the Portland, Oregon Temple and it was just lovely. I love it there
and the peaceful feeling that always resides on the temple grounds. I
feel so very blessed to get to go so often!

Fourth, we made a Mother's Day dinner for Sister Morby, our mission
mom! It was so much fun to spend time with the Morby's and get a
chance to serve them in return for all that they do for us. They are
the best mission parents i could ever ask for. We always have such a
good time and laugh so much when we are with them. I truly have fallen
in love with my mission!

Well I love you all so much! We just got home from spending the day
downtown for our p-day. It was lots of fun! I will try and send pics!
Love you guys!

{Kyle's Baptism (Me, Nolan, Kyle, Sister B)}

{A Portland Rainbow}

 {My mission Ma}

{The Family}

{The Mother's Day Morby Spread}

{our 2nd Mama's Day dinner - Korean Style. Thanks to Jin!}

 {Posing for our Mama's}

{Missionaries in my stake}

{Downtown}

{Downtown Crew}



xoxoxo, Sister Kerr

I've acquired yet another Best Friend.

Hello family! This week was very, very dramatic in so many ways. First
of all, the weather. Good gravy, it was raining and about 50 degrees
at the beginning of the week. Then, we wake up on Wednesday morning
and it was 85 and then 90 on Friday. We nearly died there was
absolutely no transition stage! Oh goodness, I am just really glad
that  I made it out of this insane week feeling like I have learned
from it, and especially glad that it is the start of a new week! I
learned that it really is such a gift that we get to feel emotion,
including extreme jumps between emotions. While here on earth, we can
feel such intense emotions including both joy and sorrow and I am so
grateful we can. I think that those feelings really allow us to live
and to learn and to love. I am so thankful that I get to be living my
life to the fullest (for a short time, here in Oregon), and learning
to really FEEL the emotions that are a gift from our Heavenly Father.
It is so very true that without feeling the low, we really would not
understand and appreciate what true joy feels like. Things of the
world try to numb and dull our senses, but when we are living the
commandments we are experiencing life the way that God intended, we
can really feel life!

I'll share a story from this week that really illustrated this for me.
We have a woman we are teaching, her name is Trish. She has been
living with a member of the ward as a roommate for the past couple of
months. She was the first person I met when I came into the Oak Hills
area. She is one of my favorite people I've ever taught. She is just
hilarious and is always cracking the two of us up. She is one of THE
happiest people I have ever met. Nothing gets her down, she lifts
everyone's spirits. She is the most fun person to bring to church,
Trish just soaks it all up. She participates in all the classes, asks
tons of questions, volunteers to do things, thanks teachers for their
lessons and makes great connections of how to apply the principles
she's learned. Each time we walk away from seeing her, we cannot wipe
the huge grins off of our faces, we are in LOVE with Trish! Yes, we
love her, but she is so difficult to set appointments with where we
can go in and teach. Early this week, we decide to just drop in,
invite her to a Book of Mormon study class. She wasn't available, so
we quickly rebound with an invite to a baptism on Friday night. She
responds in her hilarious voice, "What the heck. Why not? Let's do it,
I'm in." We were beyond excited. BEYOND. The time before that we
actually got to go in and talk with her, she opened up and expressed
to us that she just wants to feel the Holy Ghost and know who God is.
It broke my heart as I watched her cry out in confusion as to who He
was and why she didn't feel Him in her life. We knew that a baptism
would be a perfect place for her to feel that and were very hopeful
that she would come. Miraculously, (if only you could understand all
the details you would see how it was miraculous!) we made it to the
baptism with Trish safely in hand. Trish is probably the most
enthusiastic person that I have ever met, I can quite confidently say
that. So as we walk in she could hardly contain her excitement to meet
the man being baptized, President and Sister Morby and pretty much
anyone. We sit down together to enjoy the service. During the actually
baptism, when they were in the font, Trish begins to wipe tears from
her eyes. The feeling in that room was so beautiful and so uplifting.
The man went into the back room to get changed back into his dry
clothes and the missionaries who taught him handed out note cards to
everyone to right him a note. Trish snatched one so fast and started
scribbling away on it. She so proudly handed it to us afterwards to
read. Tears came to our eyes as we read her description of how the
spirit felt and the gratitude she expressed to this man for giving her
an opportunity to feel that way. As we were leaving, she said, "Hands
down, best thing I've done all year." She is so funny! But it was so
amazing to see her recognize that and recognize how she really did
feel different. That night was one of the most joyful experiences of
my mission. I loved watching her feel that and getting to talk about
it with her all the way back home.

Ok. Pause. I hope that you could see there a glimpse of how perfect
that experience was. We could not have planned for it to go better!
She even got to meet the Morby's and they loved her, she loved them.
The whole way home she just chatted our ears off about how amazing it
was! Fast forward two days. It is now Sunday morning and we get a text
from her telling us that she is not interested anymore, religion is
not for her right now, and asking us to please respect her wishes and
not visit anymore. Sister Benson and I were sitting on our couch when
we received this text and our hearts literally broke. The tears could
not and would not stop coming. And it was not at all because she was
one of the only two people we are teaching right now and we now only
had one investigator. I can truly say that it was a selfless cry. My
heart hurt and still hurts as I see Trish turn away from the spirit
that she so badly wanted to feel and that she did feel so powerfully.
I imagine how the Savior must have felt and must still feel everyday,
when so many people turn away and reject Him. I got to feel that in a
very minute way as Trish asked us to stop teaching her.

This area is really one of my hardest, but I am learning so much
already. Like I mentioned before, we really do not have a lot of
people to teach. Sister Benson and I really feel like we are giving it
our all and I really think we are, but people still get to choose. We
are here to provide people with opportunities to feel the spirit,
opportunities to remember God and remember what He has done for them.
We provide them with chances to make promises with Him through sacred
ordinances, such as baptism. But, they get to choose if they want to
do those things. One of my first thoughts yesterday as I really aching
was, "It doesn't feel like God is here helping us in the work, because
nothing is going right." I know that He is, even when it doesn't
appear that way. He will not force anyone to do anything, even if they
know they should! Even though Trish felt the spirit, God cannot force
her to act on it, neither can I. I know that Heavenly Father loves her
with all of His strength and He always will. How it must hurt Him to
see her turn away from.

I am really bad at describing how I feel, but I really hope that made
sense. We dragged our emotional selves to church after crying our eyes
out and trying to figure out our lives, only to have President and
Sister Morby greet us and ask about Trish. They were so excited to see
her after the experience at the baptism! That just started the tears
again as we quickly explained what happened. President looked
heartbroken too as he saw how invested we were emotionally. I love
that I got to experience this Christlike love for Trish and I will
always have it for her.  And I am especially grateful for my
companion, Sister Benson. This transfer, this hard transfer has
brought us incredibly close. I love her so much and am so grateful for
her. I am so sad she will be leaving next month, but we have already
started working on President to ensure that we get to stay together
until the end of her mission!

Also! I had my first Missionary Leadership Council Meeting this week
as a Sister Training Leader. It was incredible. There are some amazing
missionaries here in Portland and we have the best mission president
in the world. I really am nervous about having a new one! I'll tell
you about it more in detail later. I hope this email was ok. That is
pretty much all I remember from this week! It is pretty stuck on my
mind right now. Right before bed last night, President texted us and
said, "I love you, Sisters. Next week will be better." Next week is
always better, regardless of what happens! Because we have gained more
experience and have the opportunity to have an even better
perspective. I love my mission; every painful, joyous part of it!

xoxoxoxo, Sister Kerr

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHITNEY COPELAND!! :)

Forgetting myself in the work.

Hello, my loves! Happy Monday...last Monday in April...it's almost
May? Time is flying. I truly cannot believe how fast this week has
gone by. And I cannot believe how many times I woke up and had
forgotten who I was and where I was and why I was there. It's so funny
being a missionary! I guess I really am forgetting myself in the work!
It was a packed week, we were really busy, it was an interesting one
too! I loved every minute of this week though, as always. It is so
incredible to me that there is always something to love, appreciate
and learn from even during the difficult or "interesting" times. I am
in love with my companion and the time we have to be serving here
together. She is amazing and helps me to grow so much, I just really
love her like a sister! It really feels like I have one of my sisters
with me again, which is an incredible blessing because as you all
know, my sissies are my best friends and I have really missed them a
LOT. Being with Sister Benson has helped me to see and remember how
much I love and miss my family. Sometimes I think I get in a rut and
try and avoid thinking about my family as to focus all my attention on
the area. This is good. However, I have come to realize this week that
remembering my family more and remembering my love for them fills me
with so much more motivation to work, it makes my heart swell and I
can teach with so much more conviction. Remembering my family and the
love I have for them helps me to remember how important the atonement
is to me and why I am out here. It really has been a huge blessing to
have her as my companion and laugh my head off with her as we focus on
the people here, but also continually remind each other of the reason
we are out here. I love it!

We had our district p-day last Monday and it was my favorite one ever.
This district is so great, it really is a wonderful combo of
missionaries. We played volleyball, basketball and signs and ate lots
of Papa Murphy's pizza. I am pretty sure that this is my favorite
district that I've been in. You know me. I usually strongly dislike
big groups of people, especially big groups of people my
age...maturity levels are sometimes a struggle for me to deal with and
not get annoyed. Mom probably remembers one of my biggest struggles at
home, "How am I ever going to find someone who does not drive me
absolutely nutso after being around them for awhile? I'm never going
to find someone I can deal with long enough to be married for
ETERNITY." But, I really had fun and I am improving in that so much!
You'd be so proud, Ma.

So, we have really been stressing to find people to teach. I think I
told you this before, but I'll recap real quick. Oak Hills has a
really low baptism record, like really low. However, in the past 5
months, they have had 4! Sister Benson and Sister Munger (who I
replaced) did amazing things here! Now we are back to ground zero
again because all of those people got baptized and there is no one to
teach again. Well, scratch that. There are hundreds of people that God
has prepared to be taught. We just haven't found them quite yet.
Anyways, the one woman that we are teaching is named Trish. She is
living with a member in the ward and LOVES coming to activities with
her and to church too. It is so hard to set up appointments with her,
but she wants to learn really badly! We stopped by last week and
taught her about feeling and recognizing the spirit. She is so
prepared, we are trying really hard to set a baptism date with her.
She has so much faith, but she doesn't recognize it as that and she
doesn't know where to direct that faith to really make it productive
for her. That's why we want to set a date with he, so she can devote
and direct that faith into a covenant with her Heavenly Father!

All of our appointments cancelled this week. Pretty much. But! That
lead us into lots of door to door contacting, which always, always
makes things super interesting. I feel like we talked to so many
people this week. Just tons of them. Nothing has come from it yet. And
"yet" really is the key word there! I know that Heavenly Father is
preparing people for us to find, especially if we are being faithful
and diligent through this dry patch. My favorite experience pertaining
to this topic happened last night. So, picture this. Sunday night,
getting really dark out, we're in the Cornell Hood (the nickname for
our apartment complex), and we decide to go out and knock all the
doors in one of the buildings to find this one guy that the ward has
asked us to find because nobody knows who he is or where he lives.
Perfect set up for an awkward and slightly creepy night, as we set out
to start asking everybody about a man named "David." Haha! I love
being a missionary. We knock on one door and at the same time we
knock, this woman swings open the door with her dog in hand about to
go take him out for a walk. She was so nice!! We ask her if she knows
who David is and of course she doesn't. We explain that he is a member
of our congregation that we have been trying to meet and she thinks
that is just so nice and wishes us well in finding him. We asked her
if she is religious and she said that she is not, but she isn't only
because she has never had the information presented to her. Bingo.
"Well, hello. I'm Sister Kerr and we are out here for 18 months to
present people with information about Jesus Christ and how a faith in
Him can bless our lives." She said yes! She gave us her business card
and asked us to text her and set up a time to talk with her. It is a
miracle!

Well, I need to get going! I love you all dearly and of course miss
you. But, I know with all of my heart that this is where I need to be
and this is what i need to be doing. This is a marvelous work we get
to be involved in, so get going! Thank you for my letters and emails!
I so look forward to reading my emails from my family, it makes my day
so happy. Please keep it coming.

xoxoxox, Sister Kerr