It's been 1 whole year!

Hello, family and friends! 

If you read the subject line, you now know that I am 1 in my mission age! Whoa. I truly cannot believe it has been an entire year since leaving home to come on my mission. It really has been one of THE best years of my life. I love it and have learned so much and am so thankful that I have six more months to keep learning. That does not seem like enough time!

I did a lot of pondering this week and thinking about what I am doing out here on my mission, now that it has been a really significant amount of time I've been doing it. The question came to my mind, "Do I really believe that Jesus Christ can change our lives for the better, is what I am doing worth this time I am giving?" Like all history teachers say, we do learn best from looking into the past! So I did that. I started to look over my old journal entries and made a list of all the people I have met who have made a large impact in my life. I have seen change through Christ happen in so many lives, especially while serving my mission, including my own life. I have seen time and time again, that people are prepared and searching to receive His teachings into their lives. I thought of a woman I had met a year ago who had lost her husband in their old age. She was searching for comfort and looking for answers as to what would happen after this life. She found peace and was changed through the teachings of Jesus Christ. Another woman, who had experienced hurt, pain, anger, abuse and lies throughout most of her life has become one of my closest friends. I watched her change over time, through Jesus Christ. Her life is still filled with so many things that could cause her pain, but her knowledge of God and His plan for her has CHANGED her forever. I have spent time in a home where a family was broken and torn from so many bad things in the world. But, I have watched as God touched each member of that family's heart and helped them to KNOW that He is there, always. I have seen them change so much! I have seen in myself, a girl filled with so much fear, be completely filled with hope. I have changed in this year, but in such a fulfilling way! That is what I love most about being changed by Christ. We only change into something better. I am still me, still my same sense of humor that I crack myself up with, still enjoy my same hobbies, still love all the same people from before - I just feel filled now. Jesus Christ has filled a void for me that I was not fully aware existed. But, now that I have felt it full, I know that I always want to feel that way! That is what the gospel can bring us, even fuller happiness. 

My invitation for you this week is to ponder on past experiences! Think about times in your life where you have felt that "full" or "complete" feeling. Let those memories motivate you to do whatever it takes to feel that way again! It is available to us always. 

Onto recounting this week! I'll share my favorite.

On Monday, one of the people we are teaching came up to us and told us he wants to be baptized! GASP. I am so excited for this boy! His parents are members and I have been working with them for quite some time, helping them to build their own testimonies and become active again. We recently started teaching their son. He is absolutely the best. I just love teaching him! Last week I invited him to pray and talk to God about his concerns, ask Him questions, just TALK to Him. On Monday, I asked him how it went...he prayed for an HOUR the night before. What teenager does that? A whole hour! He said it was the most incredible experience. I wanted to cry for joy! He has taught me so much and he has CHANGED. He is changing his family as well! His Dad, who has only been a member for about 5 years, was asked to give his first talk at church on Sunday. Another moment when I was about to shed tears! We went over and were helping him work on his talk. I asked if he had any scripture verses he loved that had helped him come to better understand God, he responded that there weren't any. His son, the one we are teaching, jumped up! "Yes there is!" He grabs his Book of Mormon that he has had for a week and flips open to Ether where we had left him a part to read. When we left that for him, he ended up having the whole family read it together for scripture study (AH, they did family scripture study!!!!!!!!!!!!), and when they Ether 12:4-6, he marked it because it was something that had really struck his dad! Tears, again. I love this family and am so in love with their progress. It is so clear to see the change within them as they do the things that God has asked of them. I love that I get to be a part of this!  Before we left, we helped them each pick out an outfit to be all set for church the next day! Haha, it was so funny! They looked great! 

We met some amazing people this week and experienced some great miracles! Miracles surely have not ceased. I promise that if you look for God's hand in your life, you will see it! 

I love you all! Everyone of you reading this. Xoxoxo!

Sister Kerr <3

For some reason I felt the need to tell you everything I know and hold near and dear to me.

Little high, little low. Little hey, little ho. 

Sorry about not really having a post last week, I felt like my family was needing some personal emails :)

Hello, dear family! It has been another wonderful week here in Oregon. This week marks my first year as a missionary! Is that not just insane? A whole entire year! I truly cannot believe how fast it has gone by and I have loved every minute of it. I have lived a really happy life and have experienced so many good things, but I really don't think I have every been as happy in my life as I have been while serving others. I just love it! 

This week was miraculous. We found 3 new people to teach. It was so amazing and so uplifting to meet people who have thoughts and questions that can be explained and answered through a belief in God and through the things that I want to share with them. When we come to better understand where we came from (meaning that we came from God), we can also better understand who we are and where we are destined to go. I met two amazing girls this week who are both about my age, a little younger. One of them I met actually a couple of months ago and hadn't heard from or seen her in a long time. I was on an exchange with a brand new sister missionary who has been in Oregon for 2 weeks and we had a member with us who is preparing to leave on her mission, so I was the only one who knew the girl! We stopped by and for the first time since the day I met her, she was home! I asked her about the Book of Mormon and if she had been able to read from it at all. Last time, we had told her about the part in when Jesus Christ comes to the people and they have the opportunity to see Him, resurrected and perfected, and to be in His presence. She said she hadn't had the chance to read since we had last seen her. We asked if we could come in and talk about it with her right then since she was home. She said yes! We had the opportunity to teach her and her friend who was visiting for the weekend about the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I was thinking this morning about what I wanted to share in my email, I just began to think about how incredibly blessed I feel because of the Restoration. Continued below...

Side note for anyone who wants to know what I mean by restoration: {I know that God loves His children and He gave us Jesus Christ to redeem us from the world, establish His church and teach us of the plan that God has for us, in order to RETURN to live with Him. He has always given opportunities to know the truth and know what we need to do, but we each can choose whether we want to listen or not, never forced! For a time, the fullness and completeness of the gospel was not on the earth. That required a restoration. The fullness of the truth needed to be restored to the earth.}

Because of my experiences throughout my life, I know that God is real and that He loves me. I know that is true of every person. I know it is true of those two 19 year old girls I was talking to, who had experienced a LOT of really hard things. Regardless of what type of life, or what type of experiences a person has lived through, I believe the message of the Restoration will answer their questions, or at least help them to begin the journey of having their questions answered. I love the idea of truth literally being restored to the earth, meaning it had been here before, but lost. I read in a book this morning, "...any who desire to know truth (any truth) must ask in prayer..." One of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon says, "And by the power of the Holy Ghost, you may know the truth of ALL things" (Moroni 10:5). I love that promise because there is absolutely no limit. We are promised a limitless amount of answers to questions through the power of the Holy Ghost. If we have the desire to know truth, "let that desire work in you, even until ye believe" (Alma 32:27). 

If you have questions, ask them! If you desire truth, do NOT push that desire aside thinking it is not possible or not available to you. Like it is promised to us, we really can know the truth of all things. Let those questions and that desire to know work continually and constantly inside of you. Let it push you to find answers! I think the biggest mistake in life would be contentment. I don't think we should ever be satisfied with the amount of knowledge we have, always pursue more! If you want to know if God really exists, you can know. 

I know God is real and He is our loving Heavenly Father. I know He is there and ever listening. I know He desires for His children to be informed and aware. What parent wants their child to be ignorant and go through life blindly, going through the motions, feeling satisfied with their limited understanding? We have the ability to know and He wants us to be fully aware of Him. I have met so many people throughout my life, both on my mission and before my mission, who believe God is not involved and believe He just wants to control His children in a manipulative and dictating way. I have come to know and love God and I know He is not that way at all. He encourages us to seek truth and knowledge and promises it to us if we seek with sincerity. 

While talking with those two girls, we shared a video that I believe I have mentioned before, called "Because of Him." I will link it at the end of the email and you can watch it! After showing it, one of the girls, the friend visiting from out of town, was just beaming. She was so in love with the video. The part that really struck her was, "Because of Him, guilt becomes peace. Regret becomes relief. Despair becomes hope. Because of him, we have second chances, clean slates, new beginnings. There is no such thing as the end." 

I know that is true! I know God loves us and wants us to experience joy and feel that relief, peace and hope. We, His children, are worth the life and death of Jesus Christ. It is Because of Him that we can experience those changes within ourselves. 

Wow, that all was weighing heavily upon my mind this morning. Sorry to spill so much all at once, but I pray you can feel of the love that I have for you and for my Savior as you read it. I really hope it will mean something to at least one of you reading this! 

Here is the link to the video! http://easter.mormon.org/

And I am attaching some pictures from this week too! 

 I have a fun story for you! It was on Independence Day! We were
hanging out with he youngest Ballard girl, Eliza, who is ten. She is
so cute, I love her! Her mom really wants her to be in the Oak Hills
parade, but Eliza doesn't want to because she's only been here for 5
days and doesn't know anyone, blah, blah, blah. You know how it is
having mom try and force you to do something ridiculous because she
would have done it back when she was a kid. Well, I got sucked into
it, because Sister Ballard is kind of the boss. She picks us up,
drives us over to the grocery store and buys tons of candy. I'm
sitting there trying to figure out how he heck we are going to be in
the parade! There's no float we can join, no bikes we could ride,
whatever just go with the flow! We get back to he place where the
parade will start and see a bunch of little kids taking off on their
adorable, decorated bikes. It is all of our first time at this parade,
so we assume it is the start of the parade! Sister Ballard yells for
us to jump out and follow them with our candy. So we jump out and
follow! We've got tons of candy still in its big bags in three tiny,
thin grocery bags. We are chasing after the kids, Sister Berrett,
Eliza and myself, while trying to open the bags of candy. Meanwhile
the grocery bag handles are ripping off and we are dropping candy
everywhere! Haha! Now we're way behind the kids on bike, but no one is
coming behind us. Where is the rest of the parade you may wonder? The
kids on bike were a race, not the parade. So we were ditched, the
parade hadn't started yet and now it is just the three of us walking
down the street alone throwing out handfuls of candy. It was the best
4th if July parade I have participated in! It was seriously so
hilarious and very memorable. 

{This is my favorite of Sister Barrett and I}

I love you all, each and everyone of you! All the way to the moon and back. Muah, muah, muah! 

Xoxo, Sister Kensey Kerr <3 

Here comes July.

Hello, everyone.

It has been a great week and such a good start to my ninth transfer as a full-time missionary in Oregon! Things are falling into place so perfectly that I absolutely cannot doubt that this transfer was inspired. I know that God placed me here for a reason, at this specific time, that is true of Sister Berrett as well. I know that things are really going to take off and they already have started to! 

This week we found 2 new people to start teaching. It was such a miracle! We haven't found that many in one week in ages, so this was a huge miracle! The first was Loretta. Her story was pretty neat. Our mission has a new-ish thing that we do each week called, Finding Friday. From 5-7 every Friday the whole mission dedicates those two hours to being out and focusing solely on finding new people to teach. It has been a really great experience to do this with all 220 missionaries! This Friday we picked a development to go door to door contacting in. For the first hour and a half we talked to about 4 people, none of whom were interested, the rest of the homes were just empty or ignoring us. Within the last half hour, at the very, very end of the street, we met 3 great people! One of them was a young man about 15 years old. He opened the door and greeted us in such a cheerful way, informing us of both his first and last name. That was unique! Anyways, we talked to him for about 4 minutes about faith, religion, truth, God, missionaries - he informed us missionaries had taught his family awhile ago...why didn't I know about them?? - then I asked, "So you're Christian, you have a good faith in Christ, what church do you attend?" He looked puzzled and said, "We're Mormon." Why does this seem to always happen to me! Haha, but it was so perfect. I had not heard of this family ever before, but I really feel like they have been prepared. We never would have found anything out about their family though if we hadn't knocked on their door on accident. It needed to happen! It was just really cool! Then, we asked him if we could come by and teach his family sometime and he said yes. Bishop is going to invite them to have the lessons in their home. I am really excited! After that happened, we were scrambling through our records on our iPads, trying to find out when they had been taught. We sat down on a bench and when we were about to leave, I had forgotten we had missed the last two doors on the street. Sister Berrett remembered at the last minute, so we went back and knocked. One was totally empty, it had just been sold. But, the other was the home of Loretta, our new investigator! She is from Taiwan and has no real religious background, she seems to be agnostic and unsure about what she believes. We asked her about what she believes the purpose of life to be and she said she didn't know, she had never really thought about it. That shocked me! I cannot imagine never thinking or wondering about why you are here. We asked her if she believed God existed and she wasn't sure about that either. We really stirred up her thoughts though, which was really amazing. She had never put much thought into these things, but because we were asking these questions, she now is going to think about them. We gave her a Book of Mormon and I bore my testimony to her that that book has the power to answer those questions and change her life. I asked her to read one of my favorite chapters, Alma 22. I also asked her to ponder those questions we had asked her and to consider the value of the answers to those questions. I love inviting people to think about that! We promise people answers to some of life's greatest questions through reading the scriptures and praying and asking God, those answers are really valuable! They require effort and dedication in order to receive those efforts. She accepted and said she will read it, then she said, "You know, I am going to have tons of questions after reading this chapter." She said it as if that would turn us off, but we excitedly responded, "That's why we're here! To not only invite people to do these things, but help them through it too!" Set a return appointment and got her phone number. It was so miraculous. And we ALMOST skipped her door. The last door at the last minute of our Finding Friday evening. I love miracles!

The baton passing has happened. President and Sister Ballard are here with the kiddos as of Saturday. I love them so much already, they are absolutely great! I do miss the Morby's a lot though, not because the Ballard's aren't good enough, but because I have such fond memories with the Morby's. It's like when I was leaving home to come here, I missed my parents so much. Not because it was bad here, or because my mission president and wife weren't good enough, but because my parents are so special to me. Now I feel like I lost another set of parents! I know it is temporary and I know I will feel the same way about the Ballard's when I leave the mission, but right now I feel a little homesick for the Morby's. We just came here to email from helping unpack at the mission home and it looks so different now with a family in it rather than the one couple. It is going to be so much fun! They have 6 kids, 4 of them will be living here in the Oak Hills area with us, which is going to be a blast. They have 2 young daughters, 12 and 10, we just set up their tea party room. I LOVE IT!  They said, "P-days are going to be tea party days. You have to come! We'll make you fancy invitations!" I am so happy to have sissies back!

Well, I think that's about it to talk about this week. Things are going so great, I still love being a missionary and still love this area and these members. Something Sister Ballard said yesterday that I love, "God is hastening His work, we aren't, He is. The question is, Can we keep up?" Things are going to take off here in the Oregon Portland Mission, the Only Perfect Mission!

I love you tons and tons. xoxoxoxo <3

Sister Kerr

p.s. someone please email me this week and tell me about your vaca!

I am alive and well.

Hello my dear, sweet family! 

This week has been an absolute adventure; full of joy and tears and every other emotion you could think of. Change sure is draining! As you know, this week was Sister Benson's last, so we were very sad about that. Sister Benson is one of my closest friends in a very sisterly way! I loved serving with her and became so close and comfortable around her that I finally felt like I was with my sissies again, Whitney, Macey, Addey and Amelia; it felt like heaven! She helped me in so many ways and was such a blessing to me, I know God planned for us to serve together and help each other to progress and grow even more. I adore her! I am so very thankful that God works through us, imperfect people to help each other. I know He guides us and blesses us with miraculous people to bless our lives. Don't miss all you can learn from the people in your life right now!

Yesterday was the transfer meeting. Have I ever described this process to you? So, basically on the Saturday before the transfer you get a call from your zone leaders. If you are being transferred they will talk to you and say, "Elder or Sister, you are going car or bike." And that's pretty much it. Then you hurry and pack up, say your goodbyes and prep for the meetingon Monday. On Monday, every companionship who got that call shows up at the Lake Oswego Stake Center with their belongings. We go into the chapel and everyone sits on the two rows of outside pews, leaving the center block completely open. It looks very bizarre! But, then there is a slideshow that they put up on the big projector to announce your new area and your new companion. Talk about a stressful and nerve-racking environment. Anyways, then you wait patiently for your name and picture to pop up on the big screen next to your new companion's name and face. So, yesterday, Sister Benson are sitting in our seats having hardcore anxiety problems and nearly in tears because she is leaving. We are just holding onto each other for dear life! Finally, my name popped up with Sister Berret's! (She was who we guessed would come be with me!) I finally felt peace as I stood up, hugged her and walked over to the middle pews to sit! Yeah, so everyone moves into the middle rows once they have a new companion. Then they do a cute little thing to honor the departing missionaries before they return home. There were several amazing missionaries going home this transfer and the Morby's too. It was a very emotional meeting for me, but I assure you, I feel much peace now! Since it was the Morby's goodbye, they invited the entire mission to attend. It was so fun to be together as our Mission Family and to feel the power of the spirit in that chapel. Sister Berrett is so great, I really enjoy her already! We came out at the same time, we were in the MTC together last July, but never in the same classes. She is from South Jordan, Utah, she plays the violin, she is really pretty, and she loves movie quotes. The last one was pretty comforting to me! She is great and we are going to have a wonderful time together. 

Sister Benson's family was here this weekend, which was super crazzzzzy. They arrived on Saturday evening. We were out and about doing our thing, they were supposed to call us when they got here and we would go let them into the house they're staying. We were out in a member's yard talking to them about a referral they had given us, not even near where her family was going to show up...so we thought. We are talking to the lady and suddenly, Sister Benson ducks down and screams. Haha! It was so hilarious. She yells, "I saw an RV!" I look up and wave, her family is here! They start honking and parked the car in the middle of the street and run out. It was so fun! I videoed their sweet little reunion, it really was special to be there. We spent quite a bit of time with them since their were lots of members who wanted to do dinners, barbecue's  and other little get together's for them. They are so sweet and loving, I really enjoyed them. 

Something I came to understand better this week is the role of Jesus Christ in helping us to understand who our Heavenly Father is. We know who God our Father is because of the way His Son lived his life, it is absolutely beautiful! We come to know who we are because we know where and who we came from. It was fun to see Sister Benson's family because it helped me to see and understand where she came from and to see that connection back to the importance of family. It was a really lovely lesson I learned, I don't know if it just came out lovely. Ha!

Well I love you all dearly, as you know. Mom's email this week wasn't very reassuring..."We may be too busy having a BLAST on our family vaca to write you..." Not a direct quote, quite possibly how my mind distorted it. Haha! Just kidding, you guys all have a blast being together and send some thoughts my way. I love you so much and I know family is the center of our life. I love ya. Each. And. Every. One. Of. You. 

xoxoxoxoxo, Sister Kerr <3

I've never really liked change.

Hey fam! I literally have so very little time today. We have been running around getting pampered today on Sister Benson's last p-day as a missionary. It is so crazy to have her leaving so soon. I am very sad to be losing her, she has become one of my best friends as well. I have learned so much from our time here in the "refiner's fire" area together. We have become very close and have discovered lots of things about ourselves, haha! But really, I have discovered so much about myself in a spiritual sense with the help of Sister Benson. My testimony of my Savior has been strengthened from these past two transfers together and she has helped me to lay a stronger foundation that will help me continue to grow spiritually over time. I just love her and will miss her tons. The area will too!

This week was really great, very busy! We had zone conferences this week and we participated in the regional Dance Festival including 1200 youth. All 250 missionaries were one of the featured performances in all 4 of the showings. About halfway through the amazing dances, they had a young woman come up on the big screen and begin to share her testimony and explain why we share the gospel. Then, 250 missionaries walked out into the middle of the gymnasium and begin singing the song, "We'll Bring the World His Truth." It was such a beautiful, powerful experience to be able to take part in that. I loved it! People were crying and cheering for us, we really felt like celebrities. There were several nonmembers there who were able to feel the spirit so strongly! It was an incredible experience. 

Zone conferences were great too. It was President and Sister Morby's last ones, so the counselor in the Mission Presidency did a fun little trivia and presentation on them and all they brought to the mission and all they left behind for three years. We were all crying and laughing, reflecting on all the joy and all the miracles the Morby's have brought to the Oregon Portland Mission.

So much change is up ahead this week, I am feeling a lot of stress, so please pray for me! Sister Benson's family arrives on Saturday and we will be with them quite a bit that day and on Sunday. Then a new companion for me on Monday. And a new mission president and family the next week. Writing all that is making me tear up a bit. I have never, ever done well with change. Remember when I used to cry when we would get a new car, because that meant we had to get rid of the old one, even when the new one was needed...that's how I feel. I just want everything to stay the same because Sister Kerr is happy right now, I love right now. I know that change is needed for growth, but I am not sure what God is thinking putting me in a situation to experience this much change at once. I am really nervous, but anxiety and fear are not signs of faith. I am learning to trust that God does know more than me and will give me what will help me the most. Even if right now, it just seems like it is going to make me very sad and nervous! This will be good. This will be good. This will be good. I will survive. 

{I love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}

I need to run, sorry this is catching you so very late! I probably will not be emailing on Monday next week because of transfers, but hey, maybe I'll surprise you! Once again, I had no time to write any letters. I am sorry! I promise you, I really want to write you a letter. I love you all, so very, very, very much! 

xoxooxox, Sister Kerr <3

Let the spirit guide.

Little high, little low. Little hey, little ho. (I really enjoyed starting off like Stuart Little last week, so I may make this a regular, at least for a bit!)

This week was absolutely marvelous, for so many reasons that I really cannot even begin to articulate why.It is impossible to describe and explain all that has effected me and helped me to have this spiritual breakthrough, but there were a few specific experiences that really changed me this week that I have pinpointed. I'll share those! I feel like I have been in the refiner's fire for a time and am now finally seeing some growth and change within myself. Thank gosh, it has all been worth it!

On Friday this week we had our monthly Mission Leadership Council with about 40 of the missionaries and President and Sister Morby. This was only my second time attending, but I really look forward to these meetings. The spirit is unbelievable there and I just feel so close to my Heavenly home while there. This one was extra special because it was the last one that President and Sister Morby would preside at. When endings begin to be insight, it always seems that you really get to see, feel and appreciate a person's passion for their work. That was so true at this meeting; true of the Morby's, but also true of every single missionary there. The end of the Morby's time has brought a lot of thought and emotions and we really were able to recommit, I absolutely loved it! The words that were spoken throughout that day were an answer to so many of my silent prayers and pleas to my Father in Heaven. I am always hesitant to tell you, but I was really having a rough couple of weeks (I am so good now though, so you cannot worry!). That is kind of weird for me. I have always been very on top of things, in control, calm and generally, able to handle everything that I encounter with a good amount of ease. As my dear family knows, I enjoy being in control. That explains why I have always had such an intense fear of falling. Haha, yes, I remember those days at Darien Lake when I was wrapped around the railing of any ride that involved a falling motion, where my stomach would fly up. Yes, you all remember me hating those and making an absolute scene. Well, I have realized that I have that same problem spiritually. I hate feeling out of control and I dislike feeling that I have to rely on someone else to keep me safe. I think throughout my mission so far, I have been peeled off "my railing" and am now experiencing the roller-coaster fall feeling. But, this is SO good for me. For the first time in my life, I am really having to rely on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I was thinking about Peter from the New Testament a lot this week and the faith he had to walk on water to Christ. What powerful faith! I began to doubt my own faith and felt like I lacked so much strength. I thought of Peter and that first unnerving step he took off the ship towards Christ. Logically, his ship was a lot safer of a place than the ocean. What motivated him to leave that? I thought of the comforts of my life before and how safe and comfortable and familiar it was. It was a place where I could be in total control, but I wasn't growing the way I needed to, I wasn't coming to Christ as much as I could, now that I have left that God helped me to understand that I took that step similar to Peter's, when coming on my mission - I have faith! Fear is what made Peter falter and it is the same for me. I am so eternally grateful for my mission and for the opportunity it has given me to experience the fall. Now I understand Christ's role in my life, he can bring me more stability and peace than I ever brought myself. I need Him!

sidenote: things significantly improved in my life once I learned this lesson. Hah, I know I alluded to something similar last week, but I still did not get it. I get it now! 

...how my life improved.

I had the spirit with me so much more. I have never felt so guided in my life as much as I did after the meeting Friday and  on Saturday. We went out to meet and contact people Friday night and we "ran into" the most amazing people. God totally sent us there. Saturday was amazing! We went by to go see Florita since we had told her we would still help her with service even though she is not interested in learning anymore. I really do not have the words (or the time) to try and describe what happened there, but I know it was the handiwork of God. I had read a random, super old talk that morning in my study time and it was the perfect answer to her questions and problems. Finding that specific talk was so guided, haha, it is so amazing to know who is in control. Thank goodness it isn't me anymore! Anyways, I just want you to know that you, my family, prepared me for that lesson too, in such an incredible and personal way. Florita's struggles are things that we have dealt with and have brought us closer. She and I cried throughout the whole lesson, because it was a topic that was so close to my heart. It was such a special experience. 

Second experience on Saturday that really changed me! We parked our car at the church and were walking down the street to a member's friends home where they were having a graduation party. We didn't have anywhere to go for dinner, so they told to stop by and grab some food. It was after 7, so we were pretty hungry and ready to eat when we parked. We were walking along, got to the driveway, but both continued to walk, like it was the most logical thing we had done all day. It was so bizarre. So, we just walked past and decided we would eat later or not eat...in retrospect it made no sense, since that was the purpose of us being there. We then start talking about tracting and how it seems perfectly logical to do that right now, especially since we had nothing with us. Every thought that kept coming into our head felt so natural and just like, of course we would do that. Haha! Of course we would walk right past our dinner appointment, of course we would walk towards no end goal, of course we would then run across the street and climb through a ditch of rocks to go into this development. Of course. Long story short, we met Mark. He is from Germany and is absolutely amazing. He had just been talking to his LDS friend about Mormon Missionaries the day before, which was random, because he had never met any  before. So, when he answered the door, he looked at us funny, almost like, "Is this a joke, since I was just talking about you yesterday?" We had the most amazing and open conversation that I have ever had on my mission. He asked us what we believe faith is.We asked him what he believes the purpose of life to be. He very humbly responded that he did not know. He knows we have this desire to improve and do to good, he feels that is the purpose. We asked him what motivates us to do that, why do we have those desires within us. He was unsure and was totally open that he was unsure. He is one of the most humble people I have ever met becasue he was willing to admit he did not know, but (this is key!) he expressed a desire to know. We explained and shared scriptures from the Book of Mormon with him on his doorstep and offered him one (which we didn't even have a spare with us). He said yes and really wants to read it. We promised him that he could discover the purpose of life by reading that book and by praying to God. It was absolutely amazing. So, we dashed the long walk back to the car, grabbed a Book of Mormon and dashed back to his house to deliver it to him. He is so sincere and genuine and a sincere and genuine seeker of truth and so humble! I know, without a doubt, he will receive answers. 

Story that branches off that one, which is super cool because it shows we were destined to meet Mark (at least I see it that way)! >>> On Wednesday, Sister Benson and I felt so strongly that we need to somehow involve the members more and help change the ward in that way. We prayed and asked God what members we should specifically begin to work with. Several people came to my mind and I wrote them all down, most of them were leaders in the ward that I felt would make a good example to everyone. Brother Daines came to my mind, and it just seemed really random, so I wrote him down at the very end. We were at our dinner appointment on Sunday with the Daines. They were asking us about people we are teaching. We told them the amazing story of Mark, with all the details and bore our testimonies of how amazing and spiritual it was. Come to find out, Brother Daines served his mission in Germany and he works at the same place as Mark over in Portland. Coincidence? Definitely not. The Holy Ghost is guiding, I am finally letting him and look how incredible the results are! 

{Just a couple of bunnies}

Sorry it took so long for me to send an Easter picture!

I love being a missionary. Know that I have spent all of my time writing stories, I have no time left. I hope you can feel of my testimony in the stories I shared, I hope they make sense! I know that God lives, loves us and will do anything for us. I know that Christ has redeemed us and now, I really know we can have a personal relationship with Him. I know the Holy Ghost is given to us as a gift to guide and direct our lives and lead us, literally, to wherever will bring us the most joy. I really have a testimony of that too now! 

My loves, carry on! You all motivate and encourage me in ways you do not know! 

xoxo, Sister Kerr

Faith building experiences are hard.

Little high, little low. Little hey, little ho. 

I found a beautiful scripture that I love! I'll start with that. It is in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 9:25. At this point, Mormon is talking to his son, Moroni and telling him of all the wickedness and evil in the world that will eventually lead to the destruction of his people. He says, "My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever." The stumbling blocks of the world can either build our faith and we can be lifted through Christ, or we can fear and fall. I know that our Savior is here to lift us and this week I have really been figuring out how He can lift me personally. I feel that I have been teaching and testifying to people of how He can save them from falling, but had yet to figure out how that can apply to me in a more personal way. I wish that I could just drop all of my thoughts and feelings from this week into each of your heads so you could understand the growth and understanding I have developed. I have learned SO much and I am truly beginning to understand the power that faith has. Faith in Christ is a power, not just something that is nice to have and a comfort, but truly a power that can change things. I was struggling to see how I have faith and feeling that mine is not very strong. I had an amazing study though, that I would recommend to all of you! It helped me to see my faith in a more measurable and tangible way. I searched and read several scriptures that talked about faith and then searched out the specific action that was being talked about in that scripture. Then I asked myself, "Ok, have I done that action before?" If yes, then yay! I do have faith. If no, then yay! I now had a specific action I could take that would cause me to exercise faith. Try it! Faith is hard. So hard. But, like I said, it is a power and it is worth it.

This week started off with a super great experience. Monday evening, our plans all fell through so we had decided that if that happened, we would go and find someone new to teach! We were walking through this parking lot at an apartment complex, there were lots of people getting home from their Memorial Day adventures. We tried several times to strike up a conversation with these people, to no success. Haha, nobody wanted to talk to us. Some would start talking, then soon after see our name tags and nearly run away or throw out funny excuses of why they needed to take off. It was quite funny, but really irritating too. Come on, we are fairly normal! So, we keep walking around and decide we want to really follow what God wanted us to be doing. Sister Benson told me to pick a door that I felt inclined to go and knock on, since street contacting was not working. We walk for a bit more, then I say, "Ok. 607, that's the one!" So we climb the flight of stairs and knock, and wait. This young girl, about 18, comes out and is so interested! Oh my gosh, it was so cool. We stood and talked with her about the Book of Mormon and showed her the video, "Because of Him" for about 15 minutes. She could not wait to start reading the Book of Mormon and to meet with us again. Moments like that just make everything worth it. We were able to talk to someone who was wanting, searching and yearning to know. I love letting the spirit guide!

Well. We had a heart breaker the next day. Like, reall heart breaker. We went to see Florita again, we were going to help her go through her belongings so she can get rid of her storage unit. We climbed the stairs to her apartment and see on the front porch her large print Book of Mormon we had brought by and a book from Relief Society. Well, she was either studying outside this morning, or she is about to kick us to the curb. It was the latter. I still feel like I am about to cry as I think about it. Florita opened her door, started to explain to us how she needs to stop meeting with us through her teary eyes. She explained how hard it is for her to turn people away, but she can't do it anymore because she was raised differently and doesn't feel comfortable. We are pretty sure her kids talked to her and convinced her that we were a bad influence. She felt so guilty and was torn between them or us, so it is understandable. Our hearts ached as she handed us the books back and we told, yet another wonderful woman, how much we love her and that we still want to keep in touch and help her in anyway she needs. We drove away and the tears just poured down out. Not again! I was so sad and wondering how many more times my heart can handle this, how many more people can I love and then let them turn away? I again felt a little of how the Savior must feel when so many turned away from Him and still turn away from Him. Each time it happens, it is after they have a wonderful experience with the spirit, then they become afraid of change and turn and run, as if it had never happened. My spirit is lifted in joy when they experience the power of the Holy Ghost and love it, but then totally and utterly crushed when they turn away from it. It's ok though. It put me in a position where I could really figure out why I am here and let myself be humbled enough to trust God more than myself. Missionary work is most definitely not easy or convenient. It is hard and draining and it sometimes runs you until you feel broken and like there is absolutely nothing left within your heart to give. I felt like I was experiencing a trust fall with God this whole week. Experiences were pulling my feet out from under me and I was falling, I tried using all of my own resources. Tried and tried and tried, until I really felt beat. And I was falling, hard! Without falling, I never could have been caught by God though. When we feel like we have nothing left to give, we finally are humble enough to tell God, "Alright, that was it, I have nothing left in me. No more love to give, no more ideas of things to do. No more words to speak. Nothing, I have given my all and am finally recognizing that I do need your help." I definitely got to that point this week and I felt so weak! I am so grateful for that though. I needed to be humbled, I needed to recognize that I cannot do this on my own. I finally let myself fall into God's arms. My faith and my heart is becoming stronger because of these experiences, these difficult experiences. 

I love you all so very much. I have to get going! I am doing great and am seriously so beyond thankful for this time I have been given to learn so much. I feel so blessed. Thank you for my letters, emails and packages this week! They brought me so much joy and I felt so close to each of you who reached out to me. You really are inspired in your words, they always speak something sweet and needed to my spirit. I love you forever and always!

{Wonderful Sister Benson and I}

xoxox, Sister Kerr